Hostile divorces hurt children, so if abusive behavior is going on, you should document it to the best of your ability. New Jersey will look at the evidence of abuse when making decisions on child custody. Not all hostile divorces involve abusive behavior, but cases could cross over into that area if the spouses don’t seek help.
Get help from a mediator or therapist
If you find it impossible to communicate calmly with the other parent, then you could ask a mediator to guide both of you through the process of negotiating a child custody schedule. Your mediator might also help you determine how to divide the property too.
In situations where your emotions are too much for you to deal with on your own, then talking with a therapist is helpful. You don’t want to unintentionally take out your anger or sadness on your child. Sometimes, your change in behavior goes unnoticed by you, but your child can feel the difference. Children will often blame themselves even if you reassure them it’s not their fault.
Consider therapy for your child
If your child is acting differently after your divorce or after conflict with the other parent, then you may want to find a therapist for them. A therapist could teach them healthy coping strategies so that they have a lower risk of getting into drugs, sexual activity and other delinquent behaviors. Even if your child is young, they could develop behavior problems that go on into their teens and adulthood. You want to help them as soon as possible before their stress causes behavior changes that are more difficult to address.
Don’t discuss adult issues with your kids
You should only discuss the details of your divorce with your ex-partner, family and trusted friends. Don’t rant about the issues on social media where everyone can see it. Some parents mistakenly think it’s okay to vent to their children if the kids are teens, but this behavior still negatively affects them. If you need advice, it’s best to speak with a professional, such as a therapist.
A hostile divorce could negatively impact your child in a permanent way. You must do what you can to keep your child out of the conflict and help them adjust in a healthy way.