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Tips For Supporting Kids When A Parent Misses Parenting Time

by | Jul 26, 2023 | Child Custody


Tips For Supporting Kids When A Parent Misses Parenting Time

When a child’s parent misses parenting time, it can be a challenging and emotionally charged situation for both the child and the custodial parent. Nothing is more heartbreaking than watching a child wait patiently looking out the window waiting for mom or dad to pick them up.  As the parent who has to deal with the aftermath of a missed visit, it’s essential to approach this topic with empathy and understanding. In this blog post, we will share valuable tips to help you have a sensitive and constructive conversation with kids when their other parent does not show up for parenting time.

**1. Listen and Validate Their Feelings:**

Before diving in, give your child the space to express their emotions and thoughts. Encourage them to share what they feel without judgment or interruption. Validating their feelings, whether it’s sadness, disappointment, or anger, lets them know that it’s okay to experience these emotions and that their feelings are valid.

**2. Be Honest and Age-Appropriate:**

Children should not be lied to in an attempt to protect their feelings. Be honest. However, tailor your conversation to your child’s age and level of understanding. Provide information in a way they can comprehend and handle emotionally. Avoid burdening young kids with complex details, your personal biases, and legal issues. Focus on reassuring them that it’s not their fault and that both parents still love them.

**3. Emphasize The Parent’s Love:**

Reassure your child that their mom or dad loves them, even if he/she couldn’t make it for parenting time. Explain that sometimes circumstances prevent people from keeping their commitments, but it doesn’t diminish the love their other parent has for them.

**4. Avoid Negative Remarks:**

During the conversation, avoid making negative comments about the absent parent. Children are highly influenced by the opinions of the adults in their lives. Stay neutral and respectful when discussing the situation to prevent the child from feeling torn between their parents.

**5. Seek Professional Support if Needed:**

If your child is having difficulty coping with the situation, don’t hesitate to seek professional support, such as counseling or therapy. A mental health professional can help them process their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

**6. Teach Empathy and Forgiveness:**

Help your child understand that people make mistakes and sometimes let others down unintentionally. Teach them the importance of empathy and forgiveness, as this can lead to healing and improved relationships in the long run.

If the other parent is consistently missing their scheduled parenting times, contact your attorney about modifying the current order to reflect a parenting plan that is more in line with the abilities of the other parent.  The problem may simply be that the other parent is unable to continue under the current order, but there may be a plan that will work better for them that does not leave the child in situation where they are left waiting for the other parent to appear.

Conversations about a parent’s absence during parenting time can be difficult, but they are essential for a child’s emotional well-being. By approaching the topic with sensitivity, honesty, and love, you can help your child navigate their feelings and build resilience. Remember that each child is unique, and their reactions may vary, so be patient and supportive as they process their emotions. How you handle this difficult subject will determine how your child deals with the disappointment and fears that surround the loss of parenting time.