Divorce can be a particularly draining process for New Jersey couples, but even more so if the couple isn’t on the same page. It can be draining to pursue a divorce when one person doesn’t want it.
Even after everything has been said and done in the divorce though, you might find that your ex-spouse is still hung-up on you. This is a hard situation to navigate – especially if you have to remain in contact with your ex due to co-parenting or other shared responsibilities.
Why won’t your ex move on?
A lot of times, it might be easier for them to cling to the hope that you guys will get back together than it is to admit that it’s over forever. This can also come from a place of not being willing to recognize how they contributed to the marriage falling apart.
Depending on the length of the marriage, there also might be a fear of moving on – there are a lot of unknowns that come with starting a new life alone or with someone else. So they’ll become obsessed with winning you back or the fantasy that you guys will get back together.
Other times, they might cling to the negatives and refuse to forgive you for filing for divorce. Both cases are detrimental and can become problematic.
Recognizing when its your problem
If their behavior makes it hard to co-parent, you might ask family members to get involved on your behalf. As always, if it becomes unsafe for you to be around them or for them to be around your children, put your safety first.
Ultimately, it’s not your job to help your ex-spouse get over you. If you don’t share children or responsibilities, it’s always better for you to block them and move on with your life as best as you can.